Jess

is this thing still on?

2009-01-17T05:00:13Z

public service announcement.
i am now (intermittently) located here: jesstherobot

does the proper spelling of "intermittently" really contain the word "mitten" in its entirety? apparently so.

ashtoash214 @ 2004-08-31T10:18:00

2004-08-31T14:24:11Z

Hey, everybody.

I'm emerging, briefly, from my comfy hermit cave, to assure everyone out there in the big huge world that I am still alive, and happily installed at MIT. If you've been trying to call me and I haven't answered, 'tis because my trusty old cell phone has been turned over to my mother for always and eternity, and I've got a shiny new one with an actual Boston area code (!!!). I'll post the number in a friends-type post after this one, in case any of you lovely people want it.

Orientation activities don't officially start until today, so the past two days have involved errands and lots of food with the family. However, I have already spend a goodly amount of time on the EC trampoline, had a group Invader Zim session at 3 am, and gotten escorted off the top of the Great Dome by the campus police at 1 am, along with the rest of my "tour group." So, I'm enjoying college so far. Mwaha.

Today is my first day all alone, as parents and sister disappeared back to Ktown in the early hours of the morn, and there is much to do, so I must be off. Possible updates may begin again, in the event that I get really bored in the wee hours. Who knows.

this is nothing more than a picture show

2004-07-04T15:17:46Z

So, I've been less lj-attentive than usual...instead of just not posting, I've not even been reading my flist, and I'd have to do like skip150 to catch up. My life has been filled with boring necessities or hangings-out that wouldn't be interesting to anyone else, so you haven't missed much by me not posting. If something really crazy happened to you, though, and I totally missed it cause I've not been reading lj, you should let me know. :P

ashtoash214 @ 2004-06-21T01:20:00

2004-06-21T05:19:09Z

So, I'm creating a new, friends-only livejournal, because this one's not really serving my purposes all the time. I need a place to rant and/or be pathetic from time to time, and this journal, little as I use it, has been mainly used for light hearted accounts of my life in general, and has always been public, so I've never been able to be sure of who's reading it. I'll still continue to use it to these ends, but if you want/don't mind to read my more bizarre ramblings, which will undoubtedly be far more incoherent than they have been here, then, you know, let me know, and I'll add you. Probably. :P And if you don't want to be added...sorry for the gratuitous post.

ashtoash214 @ 2004-06-11T18:13:00

2004-06-11T22:12:13Z

Hey, random people of lj-land. I thought I'd just post and let everyone know that I'm not dead, nor have I created a new livejournal and not told you the name because I secretly hate you, as many people have surmised (or HAVE I??). My life has just alternated between mind-numbingly boring and overwhelmingly hectic, neither of which are really beneficial to writing online. Um, quick summary of my life as of late, for anyone who cares: I graduated high school, finally, and now I'm just sort of in stasis, waiting for the end of August. I can't wait for school to start again, I visited MIT in April and it is quite positively the coolest place I've ever been in my entire life. Yes. Plus, Ryan, by sheer luck, is going to college in the Boston area as well, so, that's a nice bonus.

Until I can leave Appalachia and run far, far away, I'm employed at Sears, selling hardware and fitness equipment, so, you know, if you need a treadmill or belt sander, I'm your gal. I also need a night job because I'm super-poor, so if you're from the greater Kingsport area and know someplace that needs people to work between the hours of, oh, 10 pm and 8 am, let me know, eh?

So, yep, that about sums it up. I might start writing in here more often, because...it's fun. Who knows. For the moment, I'm off to pick up the Ryan, who had his wisdom teeth yanked and thus cannot drive because he's under the influence of heavy drugs. Whee.

ashtoash214 @ 2004-03-16T16:25:00

2004-03-16T21:22:01Z

I GOT INTO MIT!!!

Augh, okay, I found out like an hour and a half ago and I'm still hyperventilating...jesus christ...I don't think I've ever been happier.

Wow.

ignore me.

2004-03-05T04:38:21Z

So, MIT admissions decisions are being mailed out a week from tomorrow.

...yeah.

I know everyone's sick to death of hearing me agonize over college stuff, but I just want this so much, I can barely put it into words. The thought of getting rejected makes me, literally, sick to my stomach. I can't even let myself think about getting accepted, because then the thought of not getting in immediately follows and is just too painful.
I shouldn't care about this that much...after all, I applied to lots of schools, and I think I'd be really happy at any of them, especially Berkeley, but...there's something about the thought of MIT that just makes me want, so much. Augh. The agony.

Someone, tell me how the fuck to deal with this nervous anxiety so I can function for the next week and a half. Please?

ashtoash214 @ 2004-02-27T04:46:00

2004-02-27T09:44:00Z

I can't sleep. This sucks and is good at the same time. I need to study cisco and do French homework, so it's good, but...dammit, I want to sleep. I didn't even have any caffeine, like I originally planned. Woe is I. Woe.

Also, I'm starving. I want a Screamin' in Seattle roll from Sushi Blues SO BAD right now. Oh, the desire.

I *heart* thelatejc. He makes my long insomnia filled nights interesting.

That is all.

why it rules to be me.

2004-02-19T18:02:57Z

Today went from rather sucky to really awesome, and I just felt the need to share my *squee* mood with everyone. So. For starters, I am sickly (again. I mean, can I not be healthy AT ALL this winter? what is up with this?) and I have a billion trillion things to do, which is bad because all I want to do is sleep. The most pressing of these billion things would be my Presidential Scholar application thingie, which is due TODAY and for which I haven't written a single one of the thirteen thousand required essays for. I intended on staying up all night last night doing them, but since I'm sick and having little control over my body, I fell asleep instead. So today I came home early from school (after having a really sucky morning, might I add), with the intention of writing the stupid essays before I have to go teach dance class at 3:45. So, I come home...AND FALL ASLEEP AGAIN. I woke up at about 12:00 completely panicked, and flew to my computer to look up the prompts so I could try to write my essays at lightspeed. I log in to the website...
and see that the deadline's been extended until Monday.

So, instead of frantically writing retarded essays, I am sitting here, leisurely working on my journals for French class and eating leftover chocolate birthday cake. Mmm. Life is beautiful. <3

ashtoash214 @ 2004-02-08T02:28:00

2004-02-08T07:01:00Z

I have the best friends ever. You guys rule. <3 Just thought you all should know.

Now,

1. Where do you want to go to college and what makes it better than anywhere else (not why. explain why YOU think that you will be happy there)?

It's still MIT...though I think I'd be extremely happy other places as well, MIT remains at the top of the list. I think it's mainly because I don't like doing anything by halves...and even though, logically, I know that computer engineering is going to be ridiculously difficult wherever I go, I hate the idea of people who are essentially my equals being better at it simply because they went to the best school there was. Not entirely sound logic, but there you have it. Plus, there's the self-indulgent prospect of living in Boston with a certain someone...but that's just an added perk, not the real reason behind the desire. I'm not that much of a silly little girl, really.

2. Tell me the story of the most important moment in your life - not day, not hour, moment.

Wow, this...is an insanely difficult question. Um, actually I'm going to have to kind of pass on this, as cheap as that is. The most important moment in my life is sort of a personal thing, and whatnot. I originally planned to just talk about something else, but I can't really think of a suitable replacement, so, yeah. Pass.

3. What animal do you associate yourself with?

Fox. It will always be a fox, and for oh-such-geeky-reasons. For the better part of...oh, four years, I spent the majority of my time pretending to be a fox in a role-playing game. The mental association has always kind of stuck with me. Plus, I like foxes a lot. They're cool.

4. What qualities do you have to have in a mate?

The ability to have a strong sense of self without being self-centered. Also, they have to have some sort of sense of purpose in life, and have some idea as to how they're going to go about accomplishing it. Wow, I'm such a romantic, aren't I? Those are really the biggest things though, I guess, because it's hard for me to respect someone who lacks them, and obviously I can't really be in a relationship with someone I don't respect. Beyond that, though, I guess what pretty much everyone wants...intelligence (intelligence is good), sense of humor and all that...good looks never hurt, either. Plus, they have to be awesome in the sack, naturally.

5. What monument (building, courtyard, etc) will you always remember from UT?

Man, this is hard, too. Lots of memories at UT. You ask difficult questions. :P I think I'll have to go with the lobby of Reese, though. Physics parties sprawled across the floor, parking ourselves by the door waiting for food to arrive, Nick installed in his chair...ah, good times. :)

whee,

2004-02-05T02:58:52Z

Interview responses, for dbshaker. :P

1. What was your your favorite book as a small child?
I'll have to go with A Little Princess, I guess, dorky as that is, and even though I was like seven when I read it...not sure if that counts as a small child. I remember finishing that book in bed at like, one in the morning, pausing, then turning back to the first page and reading it all the way through again right away. I was a weird kid. :P

2. If you had $5,000 and had to spend it in one day on services and not goods, what would you do with the money?
Buy whores. Lots of them.
No, actually, if I could count a plane ticket as a service and not a good (I mean, a plane ride isn't really something you keep, is it?) I'd find either a really awesome concert or really awesome play or something that was that day, hop a plane to wherever it was, and go see it. That would rule. :)

3. What song reminds you of me?! :)
So many, dude. Sing the Sorrow in it's entirety, especially #12. Basically any Atari's song, especially "So Long Astoria" or "Boys of Summer." Rancid's "Fall Back Down." REM, "Losing My Religion." Fiona Apple, "Paper Bag" and "Fast as You Can." And the list goes on...

4. What is one event/time/class/etc. from High school that you will always remember?
Just one, hmm? Specifically pertaining to school, I'll go with...that time you bit my arm, totally at random. yep.

5. Where will you be on Feb.28,2004?!!
Broken, beaten, bruised, covered in other people's sweat, half-deaf, extremely smelly, and having a fucking awesome time. :P

So, here's what you do:
1 - Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 - You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

isn't that thrilling?

teh pain!

2004-02-02T13:04:40Z

I hurt. So much. And I'm trying to put off going to school because I really don't think the scholarly setting is going to be conducive to running off to be violently ill every few minutes, which is essentially what I'm doing right now, but I wasn't there on Friday and we have a math test tomorrow that I really need to not fail. Woe is I. Okay, leaving now for school. *sobs*

ashtoash214 @ 2004-01-20T23:39:00

2004-01-21T04:12:03Z

SEVEN DEADLY SINS:
ANGER:
1. Who did you last get angry with? Are we talking annoyance or full-blown wrath here? Actually, I don't really know either way. Probably myself.
2. What is your weapon of choice? Man, I don't need no stinkin' weapon. I'm a fighting machine, baby.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Not with actual intent to injure or anything. Unless it was self-defense.
4. How about of the same sex? Once again, not with intent to injure.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? I don't really know. I'm generally oblivious to people being angry with me.
6. What is your pet peeve? Excessively belligerent people.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I'm incapable of holding grudges. This sounds like a good thing, but it isn't.

SLOTH:
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Run.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? Probably...noon.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: Samantha from GSS.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? No idea.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? I'm sure I have, but it's been awhile.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? Monday at ballet class. woo.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? Once.

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Diet Dr. Enuf; any coffee variation
2. White meat or dark meat?: White
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Christ, no idea. Actually, not an insane amount or anything. I've got somewhat of a low tolerance. Many shots of vodka in quick succession probably wins.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Pft, no.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? I'd like to say no, but, uh...yeah I suck.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Generally spicy.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? Can't say I have.

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? Quite a few. I mean, I'm a dancer, we have to change clothes a lot. Plus I was on swim team. That sort of stuff happens.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? Er, lots? :P See aforementioned dance and swim team. Not to mention that one incident with the pool...*cough*
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Only Cara's. *bats eyelashes*
4. Have you "done it"? *tries to look affronted* That's personal!
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Shoulders/back, hipbones.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? All the time, yo.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? No, thank god.

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? Zero.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? Barnes and Noble, Hot Topic.
3. If you had one million dollars, what would you do with it? Pay for college, start a business.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich. I'll buy fame later.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Nah.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Eyeliner once by accident.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? Thousands.

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? I have no idea. There are lots of things I'm proud of.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Probably grades and the like.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? Gain control of space/time.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? It happens a lot; I've learned to deal with it.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Eh, I don't think so.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Homework-type stuff.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Did homework and studied. It was a miracle.

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends' would you most want to have for your own? The ability to focus on schoolwork etc. and not procrastinate.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? Feh on that show.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? Man, come on, it doesn't get better than being me.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Nope.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Well, yeah.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? See #1.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? It's bad enough that I'm filling it out.

What is your favorite deadly sin? Pride.

SEVEN HEAVENLY VIRTUES

FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? None.
2. What religion were you raised as? Catholicism/
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? Human.
4. Do you believe in magic? Nah, though I do believe that there are worlds of knowledge out there humans haven't even touched on, that might amount to essentially the same thing.
5. What was the last promise you broke? Dunno. I seldome make promises, but I am bad about keeping commitments, especially of the "I'll call you and we'll hang out" variety,
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? Many times.
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? No.

HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? That's a bit of a stretch, isn't it?
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? Becoming supreme ruler of the universe.
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? Yes, despite my best efforts to the contrary.
4. Do you believe in fate? I don't think so.
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? Nope.
6. Do you gamble? Nope.
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then went ahead and did it anyway? This question makes no sense at all.

CHARITY
1. What causes do you support? Er, none, really.
2. What causes have you given money or time to? Uh...I used to volunteer at a nursing home, does that count?
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? Ah, no.
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group? Perhaps.
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? Occasionally.
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? Not really.
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? Uh.

FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of? Failure.
2. What did you do today that was really brave? Took a physics test.
3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why? What?
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? As Stanley said, I would like to think so, but you never know what people will do in situations like those.
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? Brains.
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? If so, when? Not really. Sort of before dance competitions.
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? Loner whenever I can help it. If I can't, follower unless nobody else steps up to take the lead.

JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? Nope.
2. If they reinstituted the draft(for both genders)? I wouldn't fight for a cause I didn't believe in. If I did, though, I suppose I'd deal with it.
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? I have mixed feelings.
4. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? In accordance with the United State's voting system, yeah, but that doesn't mean I agree with the system.
5. What was your favorite media circus trial? How are you supposed to have a "favorite" of these?
6. Have you ever written a letter to a politician? Yeah, multiple times.

TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? Wasting time on the computer; caffeine.
2. Do you collect anything? Not really.
3. Are you addicted to anything? Caffeine.
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? Nope.
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things? Cash.
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do. Trust grades to luck and my inherent genius.
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? Probably.

PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know? Fweh, I dunno.
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? Nope.
3. Do you take advice when it's given? If it's good advice...
4. What area are you wisest in? I like to think I'm pretty well rounded.
5. Do you drive defensively? I'm just a bad driver, really, that's pretty much all there is to it. *sigh*
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? Nope.
7. What did you learn today? Series and sequences in calc. I'm so exciting.

What is your favorite heavenly virtue? Hope.

Well, that was fun. Time for more math now. whee.

nothings to say

2004-01-20T03:45:33Z

I feel like updating my lj, even though nothing of note has happened to me lately. Semester ended on Friday, school starts again tomorrow, and I'll be kicking off the new semester with a bigass physics tests. I should be studying because making an A on it would mean my last-semester grade gets changed, but, uh, am completely unmotivated. However, French (!!!) commences tomorrow as well, which makes me inordinately happy. Because, how much do I love French? SO MUCH. And there are so many nifty people in that class, so it should rock pretty hard. Other than that, though, my classes are all the same. I wish I could have done like some people and dropped the eggman's class, but that pretty much wasn't an option, so to those people, I say this: >:F be afraid.

I am all awake because I drank caffeine-y things, thinking I would stay up late studying for physics, but then I entered this zen state of not-caring, so apparently that isn't happened. I think I'll go read. Or maybe draw. Yay for unproductivity.

Note to self: stop chewing on things that do not yield to teeth, i.e., glass bottles, mmkay? having front teeth is nice. just because you live in appalachia doesn't mean you have to look like it.

not the very picture of health.

2004-01-08T19:55:36Z

So, for the past three days I have been essentially a wibbling little ball of misery, being afflicted not only by some horrible strain of the Creeping Crud that has filled my head entirely with gunk, but also the uterus of d00m. Since next Friday is the last day of the semester, this is an extremely bad time for me to be ill. I'm going to end up taking at least two exams (calc. and cisco), not to mention the thousands and billions of projects/papers/what-have-you that are due next week as well. Last night, I convinced myself that I was feeling healthier, and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning trying to get stuff done. This, apparently, was a terrible mistake, because this morning I was entirely unable to get myself out of bed. I slept through my alarm, and when my dad came up to see why I hadn't gotten up yet, I mumbled some sort of incoherent, congested excuse at him and he diagnosed me unfit for school and told me to go back to sleep. I did, and didn't get up until roughly...noon? Which is a very rare event for me. I'm feeling slightly more coherent now, three hours, a hot shower, two bowls of soup and four cups of hot tea later. I even managed to get a scholarship application completed, but despite that unexpected burst of productivity, I'm declaring myself unfit to teach dance class tonight. Am going to go call in sick in a moment here. This is somewhat depressing, because one of my late-night activities was writing a billion and two thank you notes for all the little girls who gave me Christmas presents, and now my haste is made useless. Oh well. Off to call the studio, and then to attempt to finish creative writing stuff (six more days and I will have lovely, beautiful, wonderful French again instead of creative writing! and the peasants rejoice). whee.

ashtoash214 @ 2003-12-24T11:08:00

2003-12-24T15:42:11Z

I don't generally do memes, but I liked this one. so.

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
Quite a bit, though nothing life-shattering. Lived away from home for an extended period of time. Wore a tutu. Programmed a router. Jumped off a really tall cliff.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
If I made any, I don't remember. My resolution for this year should be to stop slacking in school, but for some reason I think it's a lost cause.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, Heather. Also, Becky the jazz teacher (at least, I'm assuming she's given birth by now).
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.
5. What countries did you visit?
None at all. I've not had much opportunity for travel.
6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
Acceptance to a college I actually want to attend. A job where I actually make some money.
7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm not much for the recalling dates, but if I were, then: the duration of Governor's School. The end of me and Jason. The beginning of me and Ryan.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting into GSS, I suppose.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting into MIT.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was less-than-healthy for a good few months near the end of school last year, though I'm not sure it really qualifies.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Ha, I bought so much stuff this year...probably my Gaynors, though. <3
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Cara's.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Shan't be named here.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Food and pointless nothings.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The AFI show and Warped Tour. am so lame.
16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
AFI, "This Time Imperfect"
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier. More stressed, but happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner, actually.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer, by a small margin. woohoo for meager dance teacher salary.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
School work, anything creative.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting time, moping.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home, with family.
22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
Love's a strong word...but I'll admit to deeply infatuated.
23. How many one-night stands?
One...though I guess technically it was a two-night stand... ;)
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Invader Zim, yo.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
There is one who I never really liked who I now completely despise, one who I approved of heartily who has now fallen out of favor, and one who was beginning to fall out of favor who has now lost my respect entirely. I doubt any of them qualify for hate, though.
26. What was the best book you read?
I'd have to go with Dune. I hadn't read it before, because I am a luser. Or Perks of Being a Wallflower.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I had several. Bright Eyes, probably.
28. What did you want and get?
Fulfilling relationships, decent grades, and all the episodes of Trigun on DVD. ( <3<3<3 )
29. What did you want and not get?
Perfect grades, acceptance to MIT, Davey Havok.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
PotC, RotK, Seabiscuit. Am such a follower.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Ate one of Jason's steaks and watched Hellsing. I was 17.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being in college.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
Filled with cheap t-shirts and ill-fitted jeans.
34. What kept you sane?
Cara.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Johnny Depp, the collective members of AFI.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
A pox on politics.
37. Who did you miss?
GSS'ers, mainly. Cara while I was at GSS.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Erin, closely followed by the rest of the GSS'ers.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
I'm seventeen. I'm too young to learn valuable life lessons.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking / and racing around to come up behing you again."

Now I have to go purchase Christmas presents for father and sister. Am not a slacker, noooo.

yeah...

2003-12-20T14:20:42Z

So, most definitely got deferred at MIT.

am trying not to be too bummed; after all, I could still get in come March, just...blah.

for my own benefit.

2003-12-13T22:59:34Z

Write 10-page story for Creative Writing
Study Cisco chapter 7, read chapter 8
Deans' Scholarship app for Tulane
Get math free-response topics from someone, study them
Study physics
Do webassign for physics
Do vocab chapters...9 and 10?
Read Wuthering Heights through chapter 15
Finish purchasing, making, and wrapping Christmas gifts/cards
Final Nutcracker performance

*panics*

in other news...

2003-11-29T14:58:03Z

I got my cartilage pierced yesterday, a nifty little 16G hoop through my upper left ear. It makes me very happy, because parents have always been very unenthusiastic about me putting any more holes in my body, and yesterday out of nowhere my dad took me to the piercing place to get it done. It's still kind of red, and it keeps bleeding randomly, but other than that it looks really awesome. I'd post pictures but my camera's out of batteries and I'm too lazy to get more. So, you all can just imagine the awesomeness that is my ear.

*tools off to work on Rice app*

ashtoash214 @ 2003-11-24T01:19:00

2003-11-24T05:54:37Z

It feels a lot later than it really is. I got back from dance around five-ish, and it was dark by the time I finished eating dinner, which has apparently screwed me up immensely, because my head it telling me that it's about four in the a.m. instead of just one. I wish it were four in the a.m., because sleep is not going to come tonight and I want to go running. wai. I could, of course, be learning how to do physics, or reading, or studying for Cisco, or writing my Berkeley essays, but it's so much easier to sit here and whine.

The college-lust is consuming me entirely lately. I'm regretting so much that I didn't beat the guidance people with large blunt objects until they agreed to let me graduate early, because I. cannot. handle high school much longer. Math is good. Cisco is good. Every other class is just a monumental waste of time and it makes me want to fling myself off something tall. *deep measured breaths* But I'm okay, really.

If only my goddamned letter from MIT would get here.

At least we only have school Monday and Tuesday this week. Weekends are good. This past weekend was rather enjoyable, actually...filled with dance, but what else is new. Did the whole Christmas parade thing, which was interesting, to say the least. I was all snazzy, riding on the back of a green Mustang convertible in my shiny tutu and tiara. Go me. And then the mall scene, which was...well, being in the mall and trying to do a ballet dance. Take a guess how that went.

But there was also really good sushi at Fuji House, and laying around at Cara's house watching movies with people, which was much with the good. Hopefully, there will be that sort of thing going on next weekend, too. And Thanksgiving, with stanleyok et famille. Whee.

I suppose I should go read Frankenstein so I don't...uh...fail Creative Writing. Christ, I'm lame.

because i love cara

2003-11-17T09:30:02Z

At the request of dbshaker, and because I'm trying to find a reason not to do my homework, here is a list of fifty things that make me happy, in no particular order.

1. Diet Dr. Enuf
2. Being Snow Demi-Soloist in the Nutcracker
3. Ryan
4. Imminent graduation (120 days)
5. Hopes of living in Boston next year
6. My electric mattress warmer
7. Being the only person to get a combination in dance class
8. When Cara's happy
9. Actually understanding math instead of just going through the motions
10. Licorice-scented candles
11. The Pillow
12. Not failing Creative Writing
13. Spending the last week grinning randomly without realizing it
14. "I'm going home now...no, really, I'm leaving..."
15. Hot tea
16. Standardized tests
17. Not failing Network Architecture
18. Playing tag in rain-soaked fields
19. Sonya and David's together-ness
20. Christmas break in one month exactly
21. Wearing a real tutu in the Nutcracker
22. Fitting seven people into a two-person tent
23. My Slytherin scarf
24. Cara's couch
25. Success in saving money
26. Getting drawings from the little girls in the dance classes I teach
27. My beautiful new Gaynor Mindens (remind me to sew the ribbons on those before ballet this evening)
28. My earrings
29. Talking to Governor's School people
30. Being motivated enough to go running (I'm going in like an hour here...really I am)
31. Pretending I'm going to study quantum computing when I grow up
32. When people write stories for me (hint hint)
33. My car's awesome heating system
34. Herb's refusal to suffer fools
35. Anything with caffeine
36. Wearing glasses
37. Elizabeth's boundless creativity
38. Ryan, again
39. Getting stuff from colleges
40. Dance in general
41. When people enjoy my book/movie/music recommendations
43. Making/receiving mixed CDs for/from people
44. Boys in eyeliner
45. Missing Lynn's warmup due to being asleep
46. Bonding with Julia in the car after dance
47. Cold weather
48. Naps, especially those that occur instead of doing required reading for English
49. Letters from Joy
50. Finishing this list so I'll stop putting off homework

ashtoash214 @ 2003-10-31T09:52:00

2003-10-31T14:29:04Z

Day two of the Long Weekend Bestowed by GOD, and I have soooo much to do. Things accomplished so far: mailing off a shoddily-done Tulane application, and writing about 2/3 of an essay for a scholarship. Oh, and studied for the SAT II in math a very little bit. I'm so unproductive. And there is much sadness, because the SAT II is tomorrow morning so instead of cavorting about into the wee hours of the morning enjoying Halloween festivities, I will be...coming home and sleeping. woohoo. *grumbles*

You know how when you're a senior you're supposed to take really easy classes and generally slack off? And how I'm not doing that at all, and am about to be crushed by my insane academic schedule, and have only one slacking-off class, Creative Writing, the entire year? Well, remembered that time I failed Creative Writing because I never turned in three of the five short stories I was supposed to write? Yeah. That's really what I should be doing right now, actually.

Need to be clean. Off to the shower I go.

a real post! maybe.

2003-10-28T23:57:29Z

Am sitting at home, for once with nothing to do....okay, that's a lie. I could be doing any of a thousand things: doing calculus homework, studying for Cisco midterm, writing my Berkeley essays, etc. etc., but I finished my project for English (my project being a ridiculous drawing to represent the "impression" left on me by the book Heart of Darkness...wheehaw) and so now I'm feeling all accomplished and content to do a lot of nothing. In an hour I'm supposed to be at Jacob's to watch Resevoir Dogs and...pretend to work on college applications. Yay!

Thus far, I've turned in a grand total of...one application. To MIT. This is very much Not Good, because the chances of me getting into MIT plus getting money are very slim indeed, and I need...other options. That aren't quite so pricey and/or selective. And I'm going to stop whining about college and graduation now because nobody cares but me. Yep.

A really sad thing: Hanson!!! (yeah, yeah, laugh it up) is playing in Atlanta tomorrow night, and I cannot go. This, I assure you, is a tragedy of the greatest proportions. I would have hurled myself off a cliff already, if not for the possibility that I may be going to Knoxville tomorrow night anyway, and hooking up with GSS peoples. *crosses fingers* Which would be the coolest thing ever, because I haven't seen any of them (well, except for fellow Kingsportians) since GSS ended. Going, however, would mean missing dance, and with Nutcracker coming up (and me as Snow Demi-Soloist, woo) this would probably result in me getting flogged. Twould be worth it, though. If Ryan or...someone can go with me, though, I'm all set.

Time for movie and such. fun times.

may i have your attention, please.

2003-10-24T02:03:10Z

*clears throat*

THE SAT IS MY BITCH.

hell yeah.

(*chants* MIT, MIT, MIT...)

that is all.

christ.

2003-10-20T11:00:47Z

Already, it's one of those days.

Alarm did not go off at four as it was supposed to. Extra three hours of sleep were lovely, but now I am so screwed. wai.